Why You Can't Put Names Together With Faces

You have probably heard a similar statement that says, "The most beautiful word an individual can ever hear is his or her own name being called by another person."

However, this poses a great threat to people who have trouble remembering names, especially those who are frequently attending important business meetings and gatherings. If someone approaches you and called you by your first name, wouldn't it be embarrassing if you don't reciprocate by saying his or her name back? And of course, it's more humiliating to directly ask his or her name when that person expects you to know it.

The same thing stands true for remembering faces. Wouldn't it bother you to have met successful entrepreneurs in a gathering, only to forget how they look like when you get home?


It's so easy to blame your forgetfulness on "poor memory"—as if poor memory resembled having the flu, or a broken leg. "Sorry, there's nothing I can do about it" you think to yourself. But if you actually want to solve the problem—to remember faces and names—it's time to take responsibility for the issue, and make the changes you can make.

There are three actual reasons why people forget names and faces. See if any of the reasons below fit your situation.

A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. It's like this: the more you think you can't remember the more likely that you will blank out on someone's name. At exactly the wrong moment. After all, you've got your excuse ready to roll? Right. Why bother even trying? You'll remember eventually.

"Poor memory" is basically your crutch. If you want to start remembering faces and names, you'll have to throw away your crutch.

How? Stop telling people how "terrible" you are with names. Believe me, using this excuse is often seen for what it really is—emphasizing your unprofessional and inconsiderate behaviour.

Unfocussed Attention. When you forget a name or a face, it's often not your memory that should take the blame. It's an unconscious choice you make; you choose not to focus on what is being said. Too often when we are meeting somebody, we're actually focussed on ourselves...our appearance, our status, our feelings about the situation. "Is my tie straight?" you're thinking, or "I wish I could get back to work," or "I don't think I can say hello to one more person." As a result, the data--new person's name--doesn't stop in our brain. It doesn't even slow down and say hello.

So next time you meet someone, take a deep breath, look at the person, and quit worrying about things. Really focus on that person and what they're saying. This is the best way to break that rude habit of forgetting people's names right after you've met them.

Too much data at once. Sometimes it's not your fault. You get introduced to six people, one after the other, and you are simply overloaded. Recover by taking the person who introduced you aside in a quiet moment. Ask them to review the names and faces with you, giving you a chance to re-learn them. This way, you can still dazzle the group with your recall later on.


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André Thunestvedt is the owner of http://www.how-improve-memory.com/ You can learn more about memory, focus,and concentration at his website. Click on the link and get ten expert tips on how to improve your memory